Men Cheat, Women are Materialistic

Dating-questions-1-1024x959

To Bee Honest…

“Nigerian men are chronically unfaithful.”

“Nigerian women are materialistic.”

These are two of the most common phrases in any conversation about relationships in Nigeria. I’m exploring the validity of those statements.

Nigerian men complain about the materialism of Nigerian women, apparently our women are totally consumed with thoughts of money; of course no Nigerian man cares about cash. They’ll tell you that a Nigerian girl, especially the Lagos girl, falls in love with your wallet before she even looks at you. When I first heard this complaint, I felt so bad for our men. Poor kiddos, how could they cope dealing with these greedy materialistic girls? I mean I know I’ve definitely judged Nigerian girls harshly. College girls from struggling families have two hundred and fifty thousand Naira (plus) weaves, the latest smartphones, and expensive trips abroad, I know it’s their pocket-money doing all that. As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten kinder, and less judgmental(here’s hoping).

On the flip side, Nigerian women moan about the legendary infidelity of Nigerian men, Nigerian men can’t be trusted. Listening to the variety of stories about the men is absolutely petrifying; some get engaged to two women at the same time, others take mistresses on their honeymoon, placing them in the same hotel as their wives, while others maintain two families or sleep with the maids and nannies. Unfortunately, these stories aren’t fiction; we all have a few of them in our families or our close circle of friends. It’s enough to make a girl reconsider getting into this thing called marriage.

Since moving back I’ve had some experiences that have made me rethink who gets the blame in this messy situation. Recently a friend was talking about setting me up; apparently he had a number of single friends who would be ideal for me. Call me a skeptic, but I was surprised that he knew so many people who I could have fulfilling relationships with, not because I’m difficult or anything of course. His answer was that they all had really well-paying jobs. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be with an ambition-less pauper, but I think there are many other qualities beyond a well-paying job that make someone a potential partner, like that pesky thing called compatibility. However, in his experience security is the first thing a Nigerian girl asks about.

I’ve been on the receiving end of Nigerian men both young and old trying to throw money at me. Yet when you refuse their blatant offerings, and try to find out more about them, they are uncooperative but they’ll complain about materialistic women. I’ve heard multiple times that the majority of Nigerian women are unintelligent and unable to have decent conversations. This is generally said as a back-handed compliment to me, others in the same vein say things like “you have beauty and brains”, as though the two are incompatible. Apparently women just talk about movies, celebrities and make-up. Hearing this you would think these men are coming up with the solutions to Syria and Nigeria’s problems in their daily chats. Nah, generally they are discussing football, PS3 and if you are lucky, how to make money. I find these comments extremely insulting and not flattering in the least. I for one have never noticed a marked deficit in female intelligence among my friends and casual acquaintances, if the only women they encounter are unintelligent, the problem might be with their selection criteria not women in general. I’ve had as many terrible conversations with men as with women. This paragraph is brought on by a recent experience I had on a “date”, my date asked a question regarding some of my future academic pursuits. As I began to answer the question with the seriousness I felt it deserved, I noticed he wasn’t paying attention; he was looking down and chatting on his phone, how rude. This was the same guy who had previously commented on the lack of intelligent conversations. Ironic eh?

I’ve spent a good bit of time considering both angles and I’ve reached a conclusion, it’s truthfully a chicken and the egg situation. Are the women materialistic because they realize that’s all they can depend on the men for? Are the men unfaithful because they are with women who choose them for only for what’s in their pocket? Do men present the situation to be used through their own laziness? They rather flash their bank cards than spend time courting a women learning about her interests and what makes her tick. Do women simply utilize the opportunities presented to them by men? Are both men and women simply not just using each other?

After interacting with Nigerian men and women, I’ve decided that this system is mutually beneficial for the active players. The men get bought women who are so desperate for money that they’ll do anything to stroke their man’s ego. These women will turn a blind eye to all their misbehavior, and accept crappy treatment from them. The women on their part have embraced the ideology of “it’s as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.” As long as they are kitted out in the latest designers, get to travel abroad and drive nice cars, life is good. I only feel bad for those who are genuinely searching for love, for that person that completes them. 60% of Nigerians are looking to be married just to be, 30% consider marriage to be their meal ticket and the remaining 10% (probably an overly generous estimate) are sincerely searching for love. Yes, these stats are just randomly thrown out from my brain, but I don’t think the results would be different if I performed a rigorous scientific study. I’d love to hear if y’all agree or disagree.

Advertisements

About Oghidi Paul

BLOGGER, GEEK , SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICT My Name is Oghidi Paul, I’m a 20 something years old web designer from Nigeria, currently studying Computer Science at the University of Benin, Nigeria. As it’s been said, if you love things, Material or Immaterial, they always find a way to love you back. The way I’m passionate about my job, it comes to me naturally. If all you want is a creative website that is eye catching and SEO friendly, then that’s when I come in. My passion is all about creating real elegant looking websites, always keeping it clean and simple with that added functionality of user interaction you would like to see. My job is to build your website so that it is functional and user friendly, SEO friendly(Search Engine Optimization is no longer black hat tricks, but a standard part of any serious web marketing plan) and at the same time attractive. My aim is to bring your message and identity to your targeted audience in the most creative way. I’m available for freelance work. If you would like to get in touch with me, then be sure to connect with me via any of the following links: E-mail:oghidipaul@gmail.com Phone: +2347062720709

Posted on September 21, 2013, in Uncategorised. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Pastor Flash

Some things are just worth sharing

Erika Fuego

To Love Yourself is your Greatest Revolution.

Dree Speaks Freely

Clearing My Thoughts. Speaking My Mind. On My Own Terms.

Yellow Igbo Girl

You Know You Love Me...YellowIgboGirl

'DARE AKINWALE

observations...

obafuntay

But then... this is what I think, what do I know?

For The Ravenous

The only thing you need to survive is hunger

Ramblings of a Semi-Cool Dude

See Life Through An Ex-nerd's Glasses

Thru Lola's Eyes

Inspiring people...

nostalgic words of future me

These words shall be my legacy. The man I am now and the man I was when I am the man I shall be....

Untold Stories

'There Is No Greater Agony Than Bearing an Untold Story Inside You' ~ Maya Angelou

NAIJAYARNZ

NEWS, ENTERTAINMENT, SPORTS, FASHION, ALL IN ONE.

The Crazy Nigerian

...crazy stories, crazy pictures, crazy videos

Tabby's corner

Chilling in my little world of daydreams... or maybe not

%d bloggers like this: